


Unrequited

by Taki14



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cliffhangers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of drugs, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Drug Use, Past Relationship(s), Prison, based on a real life situation, there is a sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:41:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28404159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taki14/pseuds/Taki14
Summary: la douleur exquise: (n.) the heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainableKyungsoo has a secret that no one knows about. He planned on keeping it to himself, but he decided to change that when an event comes up that gives him the window of opportunity to relieve him of that stress.But how will the result come out?
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Kudos: 3





	1. Birthdays and Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a true story - I'm highly aware of the differences of the realities of the story taking place in between SK and here in America. Though I may have not entirely specified the place it was written in, it has high hints of being in America.
> 
> There's some truth to this story, and the rest in complete fiction. Half of the coversations and the personalities of the members have been modified to fit into this and is based off of real people and conversations. I ask that no details be asked for as it will be a total breach in privacy.
> 
> I also do not own Kyungsoo and Jongin, nor any of the other EXO members, only the story plotline.

* * *

He maneuvered his body around the crowded furniture, as he held various items in his arms, looking for places to place the said items. It was after hours, and he was finishing up his hours for school. Walking into the shoe room, he met up with his manager's son, Jongin, who was walking around with his phone in his hand. He smiled as he caught part of their conversation.

".. Yeah, right. You don't love me. And I'm your mother!" his manager exclaimed.

"Yes, I do! You're just a weirdo," he laughed, shaking his head at his mother's joking voice.

"Yeah, well, you don't treat Kyungsoo the same as me!" she shouted, as Jongin had walked away to go wait for her to finish counting the money in the register in her office.

He walked back towards her direction, then turned back around, saying loudly, "But I love Kyungsoo! He's awesome!"

Kyungsoo paused his movement. By this point in the conversation, he was just about done with putting the items away, and was just looking around when Jongin said this. To say the least, he was shocked, to hear such a confession. He turned around in time to see Jongin walking into the back, and a smile on his face. Kyungsoo didn't hear his manager's reply to his statement, so he didn't know how to take it. One thing he did know: his heart skipped a beat and felt his face warm.

* * *

Since that day at the store, Kyungsoo couldn't stop thinking about Kim Jongin. Jongin wasn't too bad looking, and he was attractive in his own way, but he wasn't Kyungsoo's type. Still, he can't keep that "confession" out of his head. 

Everyday, he'd think about Jongin - whether if it was him wearing his cap, his noticeable muscles showing through his shirt, or the way he smiled; either way, he thought about him, as much as he tried denying himself to no avail. He waited for the day when he could let his family go visit his manager's house so he could see Jongin, at least.

One day, an opportunity happened that he was most grateful for: a chance to see Jongin, even for a short amount of time. He came with his mom and brought in some food and set them on the table. He looked to his right, and froze. His heart stopped and began to break a little as he saw Jongin talking to someone quietly, but it sounded like he was comfort talking or gently talking to them. 

As he looked closer, he realized it was Jongin's ex-boyfriend. From what Kyungsoo remembered, Jongin and his ex were broken up since he went to jail, and he stayed good friends with the family, but it seemed that it wasn't the case here. He managed to move and make some noise to get their attention.

"Hey, guys," Kyungsoo said, pretending he didn't see anything and hoped he sounded convincing enough to pass as happy.

"Hey, Kyungsoo, what's up?" Jongin asked, leaning back and looking his way, leg extended out.

Kyungsoo felt a pang of jealousy stab his heart as he saw his ex laying his head on his lap, and looking content.

"Oh, nothing. We brought some things your mom left at our house, and we bought some extras. So, here it is~" he sang.

Jongin nodded.

Suddenly, the air became awkward. The only noises to be heard were the mothers talking and bags moving. Kyungsoo became uncomfortable as the two people went back into their own world. Deciding to leave, he turned and went outside with his mother and manager, who were talking and updating on their lives, as usual.

"Ok, mom. Ready?"

"You have everything? You set down the bags on the table inside?"

"Yes, I did. I'm ready to go," Kyungsoo replied a bit impatiently. _ I just want to go home so I don't have to look at Jongin and his ex-boyfriend get all cuddly.. _ he thought bitterly.

"Ok, well, see you later!" his mom said cheerfully, giving Mrs. Kim a hug.

"Alright, talk to you guys later!" she exclaimed back.

"Bye!" Kyungsoo and his mom said, as they waved and walked back to their car.

The car ride was uneventful, and Kyungsoo tried his best to be cheery and talk with his mom as they headed home. He knew that if she noticed something wrong, she'd question him and pester until he talked about it, but he's confident that she doesn't know anything, since she doesn't pick up so easily, and he hides his emotions so well from her. As soon as they came through the door, Kyungsoo went straight to his room, and got ready for bed. His family knew not to bother him, so he didn't have to deal with a pestering family. He went under the covers and began to think in the dark.

Here's what he did know: he was thinking about Jongin constantly, he felt a little jealous that his ex-boyfriend was there and getting all cuddly, he replayed the moment when Jongin "confessed" on loving him, he did feel his heart break little by little as he replayed the moment of happiness on his face when he looked at his ex, and it wasn't him. He concluded that he liked Jongin, but as more than an older brother, a friend. He felt conflicted because it's wrong, it's not right to like or love someone who doesn't know your feelings and assume that they say something that means something entirely else. 

Jongin is older than Kyungsoo by 3 years, and he's out of college, and Kyungsoo is just barely starting. Kyungsoo is smart, rarely gets into trouble - with his parents and the law - and follows the rules, doesn't do drugs, clubbing, doing any illegal things. Jongin, on the other hand, hangs out with gangs, gets tattoos, drinks and smokes, and goes to jail. But what keeps him staying out of jail are his family and Kyungsoo. What's to say that he doesn't actually have any feelings for Kyungsoo?

Kyungsoo sighed in frustration as his mind painfully reminded him and his heart with the image of Jongin and his ex, Baekhyun. Sighing, he took to his phone, and began to Line his female friend.

**Me:** Sis, I am so emotional right now, for no apparent reason...

**Sun Young:** Hi, little one! What do you mean?

**Me:** Well, I just feel like such an idiot about something, is all.

**Sun Young:** Don't feel that way! There's no reason to.

**Me:** Well, the reason for it seems stupid to me.

**Sun Young:** What do you mean?

**Me:** Well, I just agonized over Jongin...

**Sun Young:** Oh my! Why?

**Me:** Because I saw him and Baekhyun being close together tonight. I went with mom to go to Mrs. Kim's house to drop some things off and I went inside and saw Baekhyun laying his head in Jongin's lap, and they looked really happy, and I felt jealous, and I wanted to be in his place instead. When I saw it was Baekhyun, I felt my heart split open. Is it even possible!? But I couldn't show anything, and I had to pretend, when in reality, I just wanted to break down and cry, right then and there. I'm just thinking about things right now, and I wanted to talk to you. Am I selfish for wanting something like that?

**Sun Young:** Oh.... well, you don't have to feel stupid or selfish, dear. People have to go through heartbreak, heartaches, before that right one comes along and it's all ok; it'll make you see that there was a reason for all those pains, for you to be led to this specific one. Yes, it's cliche, and it'll take time, but it's life, and everyone must go through all this before they find their significant other. People get jealous and upset when they've been through so much already and want something that someone else has, but sometimes, you can't have it..

**Me:** It just all sucks. I know I don't deserve him, and I shouldn't be like this, because we are all like family. If I didn't have the feelings, he would just be the older brother I never had. Life sucks in that aspect for me.

**Sun Young:** Of course it'll suck, and especially if you feel close like a family, but some things are inevitable, I guess. Not like you can stop it, even if you tried, if it was bound to happen.

**Me:** I guess...

**Sun Young:** Well, don't worry about it right now. Unless you plan on telling Jongin your feelings, then you should try to live life out, and allow someone else in. Or a miracle happens, and Jongin confesses his actual feelings for you.

**Me:** Well, thanks, sis. I feel better. I think I can handle my feelings better.

**Sun Young:** Ahh~ unrequited love. The most deadly love to ever be in. Glad to be of help. Now, go to sleep. School in the morning! I'll see you tomorrow ^^v

**Me:** Good night, sis.

**Sun Young:** 'Night!

Setting his phone down, he drifted off into sleep, and saw Jongin's smiling face.

* * *

Nothing could prepare for the day when he finally saw Jongin again. It had been a few weeks, maybe a month or two, since Kyungsoo was so excited to see him. He hated feeling this way, but he couldn't help it. The last time he was over there, he was so miserable seeing Baekhyun and Jongin together, he was about to cry right then and there, but he held it in, pretending to be normal. But, he made sure to be kept busy by his mom, and Mrs. Kim in the kitchen and made sure he turned his head away when he caught a glimpse of them.

Since he hasn't seen them in a while, today's the day that will probably change Kyungsoo's life: he planned on confessing to Jongin about his feelings. Today was Jongin's birthday, and even though Kyungsoo was not that far behind from Jongin's birthday, he still will because he might not know when he'll see Jongin again. That decided, he felt invincible.

Mrs. Do and Kyungsoo came into the house, and said their greetings, while setting down their little contribution of food to the party. Little bits of talk here and there, and soon, it was time to wish Jongin a happy birthday. 

They did an American style birthday, complete with a cake and ice cream, and the full 22 candles on the cake. They sang happy birthday, and had Jongin blow out the candles, clapping in the dark. Kyungsoo looked around nervously, as he tried to decide on a quiet and out-of-the-way place to confess to Jongin quietly. He decided maybe near the bedrooms as a better place. He noticed the plate of a piece of cake in his face, and took it, thanking Mrs. Kim, and went to grab a drink, sneaking a bit of alcohol in his drink.

Sitting down at the couch, he ate quietly as he looked at Mrs. Kim and his mom talking animatedly, and fussing over the food and then Jongin and Baekhyun. He waited for the right time to go and confess to Jongin, but decided to confess when the others weren't paying much attention. 

After cake, the moms decided to let Jongin open his presents, though he didn't get much. He opened them, one from each person in the room. Kyungsoo grabbed his present, and handed it to him. Jongin smiled at him brightly, and Kyungsoo couldn't do anything except bite his lip in nervousness.

"I hope you like it. It's not much, but.." he trailed off.

"I'm sure I will," Jongin replied, as he began to open his present.

Everyone in the room gasped as he pulled the gift out: a glass figurine of a dancer, and not just any dancer, it was Jongin himself. It was in a position Jongin had danced when he was in a dance competition a few years ago, but stopped when he became a part of a gang. It was lithe, and nimble, complex yet simple. Kyungsoo was watching some of his old dance videos when he was helping Mrs. Kim clean out her garage, and came upon a box marked "Jongin's things." 

As he stared at the clean dance moves Jongin performed, he stopped at a particular spot, and found the perfect move to make into real life. It took about four months, but it was worth the wait, and Jongin's birthday was coming up, so it was the perfect opportunity to present this gift. It had cost a lot of money to make, but with the money he had saved up from birthdays, debts, and his part-time job, he managed it, and with money left over. Jongin looked over at the nervous Kyungsoo and smiled.

"Thank you, Kyungsoo. It must've been a fortune to get this..."

"I-it's no problem. I thought it would be ok. I couldn't think of anything else. And it wasn't that much. It's your birthday, and you deserve it," he replied, as he bit his bottom lip.

"It's perfect," Jongin said, with gratitude and awe in his breath.

Kyungsoo sighed in relief, and to let his pounding heart calm. The presents kept coming, even though there were only a total of five people in the room. 

Soon, it was almost time to leave. 

Kyungsoo was waiting for the perfect time all night, but it seemed it wasn't going to work out, until Jongin said he was going to his room to get something. Kyungsoo took this opportunity to say that he was going to the bathroom, and went the same direction as the bedrooms. He waited until Jongin went past him to leave the bathroom and have the chance to talk with him.

"Jongin," he called out, quietly.

Jongin stopped, and turned around.

"Yes, Kyungsoo?"

"U-umm... I.. have something else to give you. For your birthday," he stuttered.

"Kyungsoo, you didn't have to. Your gift to me was already enough for me to be happy. You didn't need to," he said, as he smiled.

"Well, I want to."

"Ok, then, what is it?"

As they stood in the hallway, Kyungsoo wrung his shirt, and couldn't look into his eyes, and bit his lip once more. Finally, he looked up, nervousness apparent in his eyes.

"I know you are about to be 22 years old, and I'm only 19, and we're like family, but I can't help it. Jongin... I like you... as in, more than a friend..."

* * *

As Mrs. Do and Kyungsoo got ready to leave, Mrs. Do hugged Mrs. Kim, then Baekhyun, and then Jongin, wishing the boy a happy birthday once more, then gossiped with Mrs. Kim as she walked her out. Kyungsoo got up and awkwardly hugged Baekhyun, then hugged Jongin. 

In the short time hugging, Kyungsoo was reluctant to let go, and he felt Jongin do the same, and he felt his hand rub his back gently. Jongin felt warm, and smelled nice; whether from his cologne, body wash, or just his natural musk smell he had. Then they let go, and Kyungsoo waved bye to them, and turned around. He hugged Mrs. Kim before he got into the car, and they left.

"So, did you enjoy yourself?" Mrs. Do asked, as they got onto the road, the short drive home.

"Yeah, I did," he replied, as he looked out the window, houses zooming by.

"Good. I wish your father came with us. You know, I can't believe that Baekhyun is still hanging around there. I thought they were broken up? But they're still friends?"

"Mom, it's their own business. Even if they are together again or are still broken up, it's none of our business other than theirs."

"You're right... but it still is a bit ridiculous!" she exclaimed.

"Mom, I'm tired. Can we not talk about this right now??"

"Oh, sure, honey. Sorry. We're almost home."

"Sure."

The rest of the ride was quiet and uneventful. As soon as they hit home, Kyungsoo kissed his mother and father good night, and went upstairs. He changed into his pajama pants, leaving his shirt he wore that day on, and climbed into bed, pulling the covers over his head, and closed his eyes.

  
  


He never cried harder in his life before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF.
> 
> I had originally posted this in 2014 on my old website, then posted it to my Wattpad, and now i'm deleting my old website and I'm posting it here. What a journey!
> 
> This was originally made to be a one shot cliffhanger, with no real ending to this, but on my old site, people wanted a (heartbreaking for me) sequel, and I actually did it.
> 
> I hope that you have your own opinion on what this cliffhanger had entailed before you read the next chapter. I hope that you enjoyed this, even with the heartbreaking content written here.
> 
> You can follow me on twitter (@Taki14)


	2. An End or a Beginning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cliffhanger gets an ending.
> 
> Kyungsoo and Jongin both have important back stories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** - These lines are from the movie, "Knocked Up."

It had only been about a week since Kyungsoo last talked to Jongin. Even though they were a little close, he didn't have Jongin's number. Even his own mom has Jongin's number. But Kyungsoo was just too nervous to have it. Especially since the night of Jongin's birthday party. He didn't know if he could ever get rid of that night from his mind.

Jongin had his birthday a few weeks early because during his birthday, he was going to serve some time back in jail, and his mom wanted to spend time together as much as possible, before he spends half the year there. It's going to be quiet without him around.

The times Kyungsoo and his mom first visited Mrs. Kim, Jongin was always out, and would come in for a few minutes when he did finally come home, waiting for his ride before going back out and being gone for days at a time. Mrs. Kim would be so stressed that Baekhyun asked for permission to live with Mrs. Kim, and since then, she would have him as support.

Baekhyun's past has been told a few times before, by Mrs. Kim and or Baekhyun himself. Kyungsoo remembered some of those details. Baekhyun lived alone with his alcoholic mother, and life at home was tough. His parents divorced, and now his father lives in the country, far but close enough to be able to visit Baekhyun on a daily basis.

His mother was a different story. Thanks to the divorce, his mom took to drinking alcohol more freely, and then some. She would constantly be drunk, even when he was gone for a whole week. Sometimes, she'd be so drunk, she'd abuse him. When she was sober, she'd try to earn pity from him; she'd promise him that she'd stop drinking, and Baekhyun would believe her, until later that night, when she'd come home and say the most disgusting things to him. This happened quite often.

Back when it was so severe, Baekhyun used to call up Mrs. Kim, crying sometimes, and asked if he could spend the night, only until she could sober up, and Mrs. Kim would go pick him up, and bring him back.

Sometimes, those "one nights" turned into a week or even two. Baekhyun was 18, turning 19 soon, but even he got it bad - he's slowly turning into his mother. Mrs. Kim is certainly glad to have Baekhyun living with her and Jongin, where he isn't drinking all that often, he's not physically and mentally getting abused, and he has a job to help Mrs. Kim pay the rent on their small but cozy apartment.

Kyungsoo couldn't imagine all the sufferings Mrs. Kim was going through; constantly worried for Jongin - who was probably getting drunk off his ass, and constantly getting high, as well as probably beating up someone, or stealing, or something worse before he got caught - and worried for Baekhyun.

She was glad that Kyungsoo and Mrs. Do came into their lives; since they've all been friends, Jongin had begun to make the attempt to be a better son, and get out of the gang he was in. Being caught multiple times, they finally got him to do community service and be put on house arrest, not allowed to leave except for court and a job they lined him up for. The job was a pretty good pay, and helped de-stress everyone, but then they dismissed all the workers and they all couldn't get the job back, so he just got stuck with being put on house arrest until it was time for him to serve the rest of his time.

Kyungsoo was the complete opposite; Kyungsoo was always that one kid in school who always followed the rules, turned in his homework in on time, was never late for class, never did drugs or drank, or became one of those people who constantly have sex then catch an STD or AIDS, and was always, always, that one loner kid who ate in the cafeteria by himself because he never had any friends. He was always by himself, and constantly bullied for being different; small, and with big, round eyes. But, he still came to school, and never told his parents about the bullies that would always beat him up. When he was verbally bullied, he confided to his mother once.

_ "Mom?" a six year old Kyungsoo asked his mother, as she was in the bathroom, brushing her teeth before bed. _

_ "Yes?" _

_ "Someone in my class is being mean to me," he said, his mouth formed a pout. _

_ "Who is?" she questioned, carelessly. _

_ "This guy named Changmin. He was being mean to me." _

_ "Well, maybe he likes you. Boys are always being mean to someone they like." _

_ "What? Eww, he doesn't like me. He really IS being mean to me!" he exclaimed, stomping his foot to emphasize his point. _

_ "Do Kyungsoo! How dare you stomp at me! Go get ready for bed, and I'll tuck you in. You have school tomorrow." _

_ "How do you know if Changmin won't bully me again tomorrow?" he asked her. _

_ "Because I know. Now go," she said. _

After that, he was bullied again and again, and never told his mom again. He had no friends who could defend him, and no one seemed to want to be his friend. He became friends with this boy named Luhan, in the second grade, and they found out that they were neighbors, and had a lot in common. Luhan came over all the time, after school, on the weekends, and Kyungsoo would go to his house on the daily - even when Luhan ran away once, he went straight to Kyungsoo's house and hid there until he got picked up.

They were best friends, and Kyungsoo's very first friend since he started school.

Fourth grade, Luhan became friends with a group of boys, and they were nice to both of them, but when Luhan had to go leave and live with his grandma in the middle of the year, those "friends" were mean and rude to Kyungsoo. They made fun of him, even when he befriended a girl named Wendy, saying he was in love with her, not true since he didn't like girls, and that she had no dad, which was true, but it made him defend her anyway, since they were good friends.

Finally, he moved when he was 10, to a new neighborhood and a new school. He still didn't have any friends, and no one wanted to take the initiative to become his friend. He had some by the time he got into 6th grade, but they weren't the type of people to talk to, and they didn't seem to really care if he was around so they ignored him most of the time, or to rely on.

He kept to himself, stayed on top of his homework, and left home to get to school early, and went straight home after school. He did this until 8th grade. He obtained some close friends, and managed to get a hold of Luhan and stay friends with him, even visit each other and sleepover a few times, but he was excited to have new friends. His closest friend was Chanyeol, and they did everything together.

Park Chanyeol lived by their middle school, and he was a crazy kid; he would be loud, smile and laugh all the time, and when he smiled, his big ears would be apparent. He was stupid sometimes, even did stupid things, but Kyungsoo didn't mind; he enjoyed not being alone. He'd follow Chanyeol, since he was bold enough to live out his life the way he wanted to, as much as he could since he was still restricted to doing some things due to his age.

Come high school, Kyungsoo was still doing the same old, same old. All his teachers loved him, since he came to school and class on time, sometimes even early, even when walking to school 2 hours every morning, and always having his homework turned in on time. He never joined any clubs, and lived a boring high school life. Chanyeol went to the other high nearby, so he didn't attend the same high school as Kyungsoo, which was a bit boring. He never felt more alone in his life.

Kyungsoo's first year out of high school was bittersweet, but he loved it anyway. He was debating his choice of school, and chose a community college, and chose an undecided major, though he was sure of what he wanted to do. He wished to become a singer, and wanted to live out his dream of being on stage. He never told his mom about his dream, nor anything about his wishes and what he wanted, because he knew how'd she react. When it came time for the 2nd semester of his first year, and was deciding on his classes, he finally plucked up the courage to tell her what he was deciding on. As expected, she was disappointed and upset by his class choices, but now, she supported them because it's what made him happy, and never questioned him.

* * *

"..... So what are you doing today?" Chanyeol asked.

"Umm, well, I'm staying home, since I can't drive, nor have a car, so I guess I'm going to be working on my essay and applying for more jobs," Kyungsoo said, as he typed.

"Uhg, come on, that is soooooo boring! You need to have a little fun!"

"What fun? We're only 19, and we can't do much."

"Uhg, do you forget? I can drive, and let's just take mom's car!"

Kyungsoo stopped typing to look over at Chanyeol.

"1. Where would we go? And 2. don't call my mom 'mom.' She's 'Mrs. Do' to you; it's not like you live here."

Chanyeol scoffed. "Hey, we've been best friends since middle school, and she allowed me to call her 'mom.' You just weren't there when she said so. And I practically live here, thank you very much," he crossed his arms, and slightly pouted. "Besides, I got some money, so let's go out to the mall. We'll pick up Joonmyeon and head to the mall, buy something, and go get something to eat, while we're at it."

Kyungsoo sighed. The idea of going out did sound like fun...

"Fine. Let's go pick up Joonmyeon first."

"Yay!" Chanyeol jumped up.

A phone began to ring in the other room.

"Oh, that's my phone. Hold on. You go get ready!"

Chanyeol left Kyungsoo's room and went to answer his phone. Kyungsoo only smiled, and closed his laptop so he could get ready. Just as he put on a different shirt and grabbed his phone and wallet, Chanyeol came in.

"Hey, uhhh... something just came up at my grandma's. They need me to babysit the pets and maybe my little cousin and it's for a week. Mind spending the week with me? I don't want to be by myself with the brat until they come home. And if you say yes, then we need to go tomorrow," Chanyeol panted, his side smile apparent, which meant "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, sure. Let's go tell mom about it. She'll say yes," Kyungsoo nodded.

"Alright! Let's pack tonight, but when we get back from the mall. We need to go pick up Joonmyeon first, and then head to the mall."

"Sure. I'll go tell mom about tomorrow."

"'Kay!" Chanyeol left Kyungsoo's room, leaving Kyungsoo to get prepared for tomorrow, then went downstairs to find something to bite on while he told his mom.

Soon, Chanyeol came down, wearing different clothes, and bouncing up and down.

"Mom, did Kyungsoo tell you what's going on?"

"Yes, he did, Chanyeol. I'm ok with it. And it's ok with his father too. Where are you guys headed right now?" she asked.

"We're going to the mall. We'll be back later. Maybe we'll have something for the both of you," Chanyeol said as he grabbed his car keys, and went outside.

"Well, see you guys later," Kyungsoo said, waving.

"Be safe out there!" his parents shouted, as he closed the door and got into Chanyeol's car.

"Alright, time to pick up Joonmyeon!" Chanyeol shouted, as he turned his car on, music blasting and the windows rolled down.

"To the mall, we go..." Kyungsoo muttered to himself as Chanyeol pulled out of the driveway.

* * *

"Hey, I wanna do something crazy," Kyungsoo said.

"What?" Joonmyeon questioned.

"What do you mean?" Chanyeol asked, turning to look at Kyungsoo.

Joonmyeon, Kyungsoo, and Chanyeol were in line at the store; they had been at Chanyeol's grandma's house for two days already. Joonmyeon got hungry, so they decided to get some breakfast, and some other foods to snack on at home, at the store, and they were now waiting in line for the next available cashier. Kyungsoo got bored, and was thinking of some random things, when he suddenly got the urge to do something "non-Kyungsoo-like."

"I mean, I wanna do something I never tried before, something I never thought I would ever do in a million years!" Kyungsoo exclaimed.

"Like~~?" Chanyeol asked.

"Like... like... drinking.." Kyungsoo lowered his voice.

"Really? Alright. I think my grandma has some beer or wine in the fridge. It is hot out, so why not?"

"Let's drink by the pool!" Joonmyeon exclaimed.

"Hush! Just because you're 20, doesn't mean you can yell to the whole world!" Kyungsoo hush whispered to Joonmyeon.

"Come on, loosen up a little, Soo. It's just a drink. I think that's good enough for me," Chanyeol said, shrugging his shoulders, but a little smile was beginning to tug at the corners of his mouth.

"Alright! Let's hurry and go have that drink!" Joonmyeon whispered.

As soon as they got back, they changed into their swim clothes, and Chanyeol got out the wine and a couple of beers, pulling out a couple wine glasses for each of them. He poured the wine first, and handed one to Joonmyeon then Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo bit his lip as he looked nervously into the drink, debating if he wanted to really try it.

"Well? Go on. You said you wanted to try something crazy, so try it," Chanyeol said.

"Yeah, alright," Kyungsoo said defensively.

He brought the cup to his lips, and sipped some of the drink into his mouth. The cold liquid touched his taste buds, then down his throat, and all he could taste was some sweet, then the small hint of the burning alcohol. As he took another drink, he figured it wasn't all that bad, and it was pretty good.

"Wow. That was actually good," Kyungsoo said, as he let the taste roll around in his mouth.

"Good. It's a dessert wine, is why. It's supposed to be a bit sweet. Tasty, isn't it?" Chanyeol smiled his signature smile, and Joonmyeon just drank it as he pulled out his snacks.

"Ok, I'm going to go swimming. Let's go!" Joonmyeon shouted as he went outside and sat by the pool.

"Yeah, calm down, Joonmyeon! That's supposed to be my line!" Chanyeol shouted, as he followed just as eagerly.

"Well, cheers to me," Kyungsoo said, smiling as he saw Chanyeol laugh hard as he pushed Joonmyeon into the pool.

* * *

The week went by fast as Kyungsoo continued to think about Jongin. He thought that if Jongin didn't go do those stupid things and get caught, then he'd be having fun, like he was, since he has such crazy friends. It was time to go home, but Kyungsoo didn't want the fun to end. Shortly after they got back home, Chanyeol was called back, taking Joonmyeon with him. Kyungsoo let out a sigh as he sat at his desk, the essay pulled up and open, waiting for new words to fill its blankness.

_ I wonder what Jongin is doing?? _ Kyungsoo thought.

He shook his head, then went downstairs to go get a drink of water. As he came down the stairs, his mom was moving around, then heading to the front door.

"What are you doing, mom?" he asked, obviously confused as to what his mother was doing.

"Huh? Oh, well, I'm getting ready to go to Mrs. Kim's to help her out with some things. Would you like to go with me? Baekhyun went to work and Mrs. Kim needed to do some shopping and she asked me to go with her, and Jongin is all by himself," she said.

"Oh, uh, ok. How long are you going to be over there??"

"Oh, maybe an hour or two. If you shopped like Mrs. Kim, it'll be about 2 hours, you'll never know. Maybe you should bring something extra, just in case it takes that long?"

"Eh, alright. Let me go get ready," Kyungsoo decided, but secretly excited and scared.

He went back upstairs, packing his laptop and chargers, a movie, a book, changing his shirt, and took a quick look in his mirror, deciding he looked decent enough to impress even a homeless man. He went back downstairs and put his stuff in the car, and waited for his mom to get in and drive over there.

As soon as he entered the house, he felt oddly nervous, like he expected to see Baekhyun laying in Jongin's lap on the floor again, or even on the couch. But instead, he was greeted with a lazy-looking Jongin, laying on the couch, a cup in hand, watching tv or a movie.

Kyungsoo cleared his throat. Jongin looked up at the sound, and smiled his warm smile.

"Hey, Kyungsoo. What's up?"

"H-hey. Uhh, I just came with mom. She's doing something with your mom for a few hours, and I decided to tag along," Kyungsoo said, glad not to be stuttering that whole time.

"Ah, yes. My mother's most famous 'runs-to-the-store' trips. She does this every month. Here to keep me company, then?" he asked, joking or being really serious, Kyungsoo couldn’t really decipher him at this point, while looking back at the tv.

"Uhh.." Kyungsoo didn't know how to respond to that. Just as he was about to, the mothers came in loudly.

"Oh, my gosh! Well, we're off! We'll be back soon! Oh, Kyungsoo! You're here! Good, I can feel less guilty about leaving Jongin here all by himself. Baekhyun is going to be working until midnight tonight, so he won't be home for hours, and that means Mrs. Do and I can go out and shop for a few hours! Aren't you excited, my dear?!" Mrs. Kim asked the just-as-excited-as-her woman next to her.

"Why, yes, my dear, Mrs. Kim! Oh!" Mrs. Do exclaimed. "You don't mind, do you, Kyungsoo?"

"No, I don't mind. I have a few things to keep me occupied, and Jongin is here, and if needed, I can cook something if we get hungry, so I'm fine," kyungsoo explained, as he set his bag containing his stuff down.

"Oh goody! Ok, well, you have your phones turned up?"

"Yes, mom," Jongin said, as he got up and stood next to Kyungsoo, smiling. "And you guys have your phones charged, and turned up, as well?"

"Yes, Jongin. I made sure of it! Alright! Ready to go, Mrs. Do?"

"Yes, ma'm!" Mrs. Do shouted, almost jumping up and down in joy.

"Let's go!"

Both women bounded out the door and jumped into the car, leaving the two boys to follow them outside into the warm air, and see them off as they drove away, waving to each other.

"Well. My mom and your mom are going to be having a lot of fun. Let's go inside, shall we? It's cooler in there," Jongin said, as he looked at Kyungsoo, who just nodded his agreement.

They walked back inside, Jongin closing the door then turning around, looking at Kyungsoo.

"So. What do you wanna do?"

* * *

_ "Do you ever get so bored, you just stare at your balls?" _

_ "I bet you do, late John Lennon."** _

"Tell me again why we are watching this movie?" Kyungsoo asked, sipping a bit of his drink from his cup, sitting in the chair by the tv.

"Because it's funny as hell."

"No, I get that, but really. What makes this movie so enjoyable?"

A few moments of silence passed as the movie dialogues soon became background noise, then Jongin paused the movie before looking at Kyungsoo.

"Because, this is the epitome of an epic story of life in a nutshell from someone who was an idiot and did stupid things before getting a girl pregnant," Jongin replied with seriousness.

When Kim Jongin was serious, he actually meant business. Seeing a serious Jongin was a big deal and very rare, and kind of a turn-on in Kyungsoo's personal opinion, but it's not like it matters because his opinion doesn't matter.

"I assume that you take this very seriously, or even personally. Is there any particular reason why you seem so defensive towards it?" Kyungsoo asked, looking at Jongin.

"Because I have been through the exact thing Ben went through, only much worse. It sucks to be one of those dead beat guys who have kids when they live such shitty lives for themselves. I feel like I'm going to be those guys..." Jongin started, then began to slowly lose his voice, clearly upset.

Kyungsoo, startled, got up and went to hug Jongin, and let him dry sob in the crook of his neck.

"Jongin, you won't be like those guys. You won't be one of those shitty fathers because they are the ones who don't care for their kids or are too drunk or high to take care of them, or one of those guys who leaves just because they got their one-night stand pregnant by accident, and not that I'm saying that kids are accidents, it's just that they were totally unprepared. You're going to be one of those guys that, even though you never thought about having a child at a young age, you would cherish and love your baby as soon as you see them, and you will have that never ending love for them, and you'll be the greatest father towards your child or children. Besides, you have a family right behind you, ready to help take care of you and your unexpected child, no matter what," Kyungsoo whispered, as he rocked the strong male back and forth, like a child being rocked to sleep, and rubbing his back in a gentle manner.

Jongin had continued to dry sob, gripping his shirt, but it lessened little by little as Kyungsoo spoke his piece. Jongin nodded when his speech ended, but continued with the movement and stayed silent for a while as they reveled in each other's company. When the room was completely quiet, Kyungsoo let go of Jongin, coming face-to-face with him, analyzing his face to see if he really was ok.

Nothing prepared him for the fact that Jongin, Kim fucking Jongin, was looking at him like he was a piece of meat, or the oasis he finally found in the desert, Kyungsoo couldn't tell. He just knew that Jongin was looking at him with the most smouldering look he ever received in his life.

"U-uh, Jongin? Are you ok?" Kyungsoo asked, hoping what he saw in his eyes was pain, or even numbness, and was just imagining things.

Jongin seemed to shake himself out of his weird stare and look at Kyungsoo, that look in his eyes gone.

"Yeah. I am. Why do you ask?" he questioned.

"Well, I thought I saw..." Kyungsoo started, noticing that the look was gone, and saw Jongin tilt his head to the side, waiting for the reply. "Nothing, never mind. I'm just glad that you're ok."

The silence raged on, and the air turned awkward, maybe uncertain, but something was there, and they felt it. Kyungsoo's phone rang, dispelling the tension in the room, and bringing both of them into reality.

"Ah, that's my phone. I gotta go.. answer.." Kyungsoo stuttered, as he got up and went across the room and picked up his phone.

"Hello?"

**_"Hello?"_ **

"Hey, mom. What's up?"

**_"Oh, Kyungsoo! Good, you answered. Listen, Mrs. Kim and I will be out for a few more hours, so if you want, you could stay there, or call your father to pick you up if you want to sleep at home, ok? It's all up to you."_ **

"Uh, ok? Will do, but I think I'll stay here. I don't want to leave Jongin by himself. How are you guys? Where are you guys at?" Kyungsoo questioned, curious as to why his mom called. "And what's that background noise?"

**_"Oh, we're out and about. No need to worry. We're fine, and we brought our phone chargers just in case our phones died while we were shopping, so no need for worry!"_ **

"Ok, mom, I know about that, I just wanna know where you guys are."

**_"Don't worry about it! Your father knows where we are, so don't bother. All you need to know is that we are safe and nothing is wrong. I just wanted to check up on you boys,"_ ** she exclaimed.

"Mom! What is that noise? Are you guys drinking!?"

**_"Oh, got to go, dear! I'll see you soon! Love you! Oh, and Mrs. Kim said to tell Jongin that she loves him! Bye, my love! WOOT!!"_ **

"MOM!"

The line disconnected them as he shouted, with futile attempts, into his phone. Finally giving up, he sighed, and set his phone down, rubbing his eyes in frustration.

"Is everything ok?" Jongin asked.

Kyungsoo jumped at his voice right behind him.

_ When did he come up behind me?? _

"A-ah, everything's fine. It's just that my mom didn't want to tell me where they are. I thought I heard music playing in the background, and a loud crowd, or something. She ended the call before I could get an answer out of her. I just hope that they're ok.." Kyungsoo spoke fast, and paced the floor, with Jongin looking at him intently.

Suddenly, he stopped his pacing. "I need a drink."

"There's water, and some juice," Jongin started.

"No, I mean that I need a drink," Kyungsoo said, as he went to the kitchen and began to search for a drink.

"Hey, hey, what are you doing? You know you can't drink underage! It's illegal!" Jongin exclaimed, as he went towards him.

Kyungsoo whipped his head fast as he, basically, glared at the older male, stopping him in his tracks. "I've been doing it for a few months now. And besides, it's only illegal if you get caught. When I say I need a drink, I mean it."

Jongin sighed in defeat as he rubbed the back of his neck, making the muscles in his arm flex, and his neck exposed in Kyungsoo's direction, causing the said male to lose his breath.

"Fine. There's a few of my beers outside, or you could have some wine, or you could have a shot or two of my favorite alcohol. Which do you prefer?" Jongin questioned, his eyes downcast.

Suddenly, Kyungsoo felt bad that he was making Jongin do this, but his frustration demanded he have a drink, and it wouldn't allow him to be satisfied if he didn't have it now. Kyungsoo signed, half in relief and half in apology.

"I would like your favorite alcohol, please," he whispered as he closed the refrigerator door that he opened before he was interrupted.

Jongin nodded, and went out of the kitchen. Kyungsoo went to grab his shot glass, but a hand grabbed it before him. Startled, he turned around as he saw Jongin pour his drink into the shot glass, and handed it to him. Kyungsoo looked at the drink in his hand, then brought his head back as he put the liquid in his mouth. The bitter drink burned his mouth, a straight line to his throat, burning his throat as he swallowed, and the warm liquid flowed down his stomach, sighing in relief as he continued to feel the burn. He looked up at Jongin, as he saw that he took a shot too. Smiling, he held out his shot glass, an indication he wanted another, and Jongin obliged him. He brought his head back again, and enjoyed the feel.

The burn of the liquid fascinated him. It was warm and comforting, but it threatened to hurt him, confuse him, but at the same time, make him addicted. He always used to wonder what alcohol tastes like, what would happen to him if he snuck some while his parents were out, or if his bad influence of his friends gave him some, what he would do if he didn't reject it. It was a curious thing in life, the consummation of alcohol. He never understood why adults would even drink it, since it made them do stupid things, and regret the things they let spill out and hurt the ones around them. But he did understand why some people enjoyed drinking: it gave you the high without being high. You felt light and felt everything let go, the stress of whatever stress you had, you got to have fun, it let you be yourself with no bars holding you back.

That was the danger of alcohol, you could get addicted because you never want the fun to end, and you just wanted life to get off your back, but the ending consequences are severe. Kyungsoo could handle 3 shots, or less, of whatever alcohol he had, and he would be a bit drunk, but sober enough to know when to stop. He was a smart kid.

Jongin set Kyungsoo's shot glass down, and then hugged him tightly. Kyungsoo could only stay frozen, a different type of warmth penetrating his entire body, before returning the hug.

"I know," Jongin whispered in his ear.

Those two miraculous words flowed through his body, and it shook him to the core. He felt shattered, those words bringing him back to reality through his alcohol induced mind, and he broke. He allowed himself to break in front of Jongin. It was really rare for Kyungsoo to cry in front of someone, even his own parents. Kyungsoo experienced enough pain in his life to know that if he cried in front of someone, it gave away his weakness, and they would use it to their advantage - he knew because it happened many times, and he learned his lesson.

He heard his parents fight and argue every single night when he was a child, and he'd cry himself to sleep. Since he had no friends, before Luhan, he couldn't tell anyone about what he felt. His parents would be fine the next morning, all smiles and kisses, and adoring words, then the shouting came again. It was a never ending cycle.

The worst time was when he had fallen in love with the most popular boy in the 6th grade, Wu Yifan; every sixth grader liked him, and they looked up to him, wanting to be his friend. Kyungsoo first laid eyes on him when he arrived as the new student in fifth grade, but rarely saw him since they weren't in the same class, but he'd stare at him during recess, and see how he interacted with his friends, his smile.

When he found out that he was into baseball, he began to immerse himself to love the sport, learn everything about it. He wasn't very athletic, and he didn't like sports all that much, though he found they were fun during PE and he was actually quite good if he tried hard enough, but he wanted to have something in common with him, to be noticed. He even worked harder in PE than ever before, just so he could get better athleticism, and impress his crush.

The next year, he found out that Yifan was in the same class, and freaked out even more when, at the beginning of the year, he got to sit next to him. He would be so nervous, and when they worked on a class project together, he couldn't look him in the eyes, and barely spoke to each other.

One day, Kyungsoo gave him a love note. As he watched Yifan read the note, with his friends, 10 meters away, he saw him laugh, and rip his note into pieces. Kyungsoo was devastated, and as he saw Yifan rip his note, he felt his heart rip the exact same way. Kyungsoo never got over it, and a fellow classmate had talked to him before he witnessed Yifan's act, telling him everyone in the sixth grade classes knew that he liked Yifan, and that it was useless to deny it, but he still did, naively believing that he would be noticed by Yifan.

Kyungsoo's idea of love was crushed, and his heart couldn't stay in love with one person for very long, if he admitted it out loud or even to himself, so he could never fully love anyone. He felt he had a wicked, or even twisted, sense of love and the drinking never helped; instead, it just furthered his idea of not able to love someone, being like some whore on the street. He felt degraded, stripped of everything he innocently believed of himself since then, and felt like he deserved it. The drinking caused him to be such a flirt, a touchy person, and demanded to be paid attention to, he knew. He was sick of it, but he couldn't stop, the possibility of being loved, drunk or sober, was what he craved the most. He desperately wished for it, and tried to grab a hold of it, but it always slipped away, rendering him tired and done with everything.

The fact that Jongin was holding him now, and had whispered those words, meant he could tell what Kyungsoo was feeling, why he felt frantic to know something, and what he could possibly be hiding underneath his strong facade. He knew what wanted, what he needed, and Jongin knew the feeling.

Kyungsoo sobbed into his chest, as he held on tightly to the stronger male. As soon as he had calmed down enough, Jongin pushed him away far enough to still be within arms reach, and, using his index finger, went under his chin to look up at him. Kyungsoo sniffled and smiled slightly, watching Jongin doing the same, before he brought his lips to Kyungsoo's soft, plump looking ones.

The kiss was bliss. Kyungsoo stayed in his spot as Jongin softly stayed there, a bit of hesitancy combined with determination. Soon enough, Jongin pulled away, eyes closed, as if he was in pain or ready to be rejected. Kyungsoo brought his fingers to his lips, the tingling still there.

"Sorry.... I couldn't resist myself. You just looked so cute, and beautiful," Jongin said quietly, a little embarrassed but fully confident of himself.

"I-it's ok," Kyungsoo started, but before he could continue, he was cut off by Jongin kissing him again, with more pressure this time, as if he was absolutely sure that Kyungsoo wouldn't push him away.

Kyungsoo allowed himself to be kissed once more, to be basking in the light of Jongin. He craved it, he wanted it, and most of all, he needed it.

He responded just as eagerly as Jongin was, and moaned for more, the sound reverberating against the walls as they bounced back to their own ears. Jongin thought his moan was music; so crystal clear, pure, and unused. He planned on changing that fact.

He brought his hand up to grab at Kyungsoo's neck, while he brought his arm around his waist to bring him closer. Kyungsoo threaded his fingers through Jongin's hair and brought him closer with his other hand. Both were flushed against each other, their clothes now becoming a barrier between them. They wasted no time to be rid of their clothes that are now strewn across the floor, making their way to the couch.

"Quite eager, are we, Kim Jongin?" Kyungsoo panted out, as soon as they sat down, removing their belts.

"Yeah, well, we don't have much time until someone comes home, and I want to skip the theatrics, and jump straight to the fun," Jongin breathed out, eagerly pulling Kyungsoo's hair to show his neck.

Kyungsoo stiffened under his hold, and whimpered. Jongin froze as he heard the whimper; it was not the kind of whimper he was hoping for. It was the sound of the kind of whimper that was hurt, or even scared. Letting go, Jongin brought Kyungsoo's face close to his; both men were panting, faces flushed red, saliva dripping places. Looking in shock and seriousness, Jongin looked him straight in the eye.

"You aren't a virgin, right?"

Kyungsoo said nothing as he averted his eyes somewhere else to look at other than Jongin.

"Do Kyungsoo, tell me now: are you a virgin?" Jongin asked firmly and whispered in a deadly manner.

Said male just dropped his head down, as if he was being scolded for doing something wrong. Jongin let go of his face, shock shown on his own, while Kyungsoo began to bite his lip, still looking away from Jongin, and messed with his fingernails, as he had no shirt to start messing around with. Several minutes of silence except for the sound of breathing passed, and Kyungsoo spoke up.

"I-I-I I should go..." he rose and began to leave, until a hand grabbed his, stopping him in his tracks.

"Don't leave.. please. Stay," Jongin said, desperation apparent in his voice.

Kyungsoo turned his head fast around to look at Jongin in surprise. He saw Jongin look sad, but more sorry. He had to admit, he looked so adorable being sorry. He let out a soft sigh, relaxed his shoulders, and went towards Jongin, bringing him in for a soft kiss, to which the older responded.

"I'll stay, then. For you," Kyungsoo whispered.

Jongin nodded. "I'll go slow. I want your first time to be amazing."

All Kyungsoo could do was nod and smile shyly at him, as he allowed Jongin to shower him with soft kisses all along his skin, his warm breath ghosting over his collarbone, and his nose grazing his neck. He bit lightly on a few spots, but not enough to bruise. His hands flew all over Kyungsoo; touching everywhere and everything, trying to memorize the feel, the spaces that were, essentially, Kyungsoo.

The night ended too quickly.

* * *

"Kyungsoo, are you ok?" a voice asked.

"Huh?" Kyungsoo dumbly answered.

"I asked if you were ok. You seem out of it," Sehun repeated calmly.

"Oh, no, I'm ok. Honestly. I'm just tired. I didn't sleep last night, is all," Kyungsoo said tiredly, adding a yawn for good measure.

Sehun didn't look convinced.

"Come on, Soo, talk to me. Something's bothering you, or worrying you. It's been on your mind the last few days, since you aren't your glare-y self lately. You haven't even joked with Chanyeol, and he's your best friend!"

"Yeah, well, sometimes it's best he doesn't know anything for now. I need someone to keep me grounded, and you're that person, ok?" Kyungsoo hissed.

Sehun put his hands up in defeat. "Alright, but how am I supposed to keep you grounded if you don't talk to me?"

Kyungsoo kept quiet, biting his lip and thinking if telling Sehun anything was worth it. Sehun is younger than Kyungsoo by three years, and he absolutely adored him. They both managed to be very good friends with each other since Kyungsoo and his family moved closer to Seoul, but now they are like best friends, even though they are complete opposites of each other.

"Well..." Kyungsoo hesitated.

"Come on, spit it out," Sehun huffed impatiently.

"I, uh... Do you know Kim Jongin?"

"Huh?" Sehun questioned. "Hmm... nope. Who is he?"

"Kim Jongin... well, you know my manager, Mrs. Kim, right?" A nod. "Kim Jongin is her son, and some.... things happened... last week..."

Kyungsoo brought his head down lower and lower as he let out each part of his sentence. Sehun's face was caught between stoicism and confusion (it was quite a sight to see) when his eyes widened to Kyungsoo's normal eye size.

"Nooooooo....... you didn't..." he began in a hushed whisper. Kyungsoo just looked down to the floor. "Do Kyungsoo. What did you do?"

"I-" Began Kyungsoo, but was promptly interrupted.

"Kyungsoo, tell me now: you went out with him, didn't you?"

Kyungsoo fell face flat to the ground from his seat. After he got his bearings, he looked straight at Sehun looking incredulous.

"Oh Sehun!" he shouted.

"What?" Sehun asked, jumping back a little in his seat.

"I can't believe you! Such a dumb thing to ask!"

"I don't understand you. Why would you ask me that? Did you?" he questioned.

Kyungsoo sighed, a little red in the face, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, not really. He can't even leave the house due to his house arrest - like he could anyway since the only place to go for him would be a job or court, and the farthest he could go is his doorstep.."

Sehun looked carefully at Kyungsoo, and noticed something about him: he suddenly had a red face, he bit his lip (if he remembered correctly, he'd been biting his lip all day), and he seemed more secretive than before. Sehun ignored Kyungsoo rambling on when it suddenly hit him.

"Oh! I'm so stupid! I didn't see it but I get it now!" he shouted, interrupting Kyungsoo for the hundredth time today. "You had sex with him, didn't you!?"

Kyungsoo jumped and covered Sehun's mouth.

"Shhhhh!!! You dummy, you shouldn't say it so loud! Even though your family isn't home, keep quiet! This is super serious!"

"Buff wahtff ahoutff shanyulf?" Sehun muffled.

"Wait, what?" Kyungsoo asked.

"Mghaf hmh!"

"What? I couldn't understand you. Say it again?"

Sehun managed to rip Kyungsoo's hand off his mouth and shouted.

"I SAID UNHAND ME!"

Kyungsoo let his hand go, and stepped back as Sehun took in the air.

"Oh, oops! Sorry, I forgot~" Kyungsoo laughed nervously, hand rubbing his neck.

Sehun glared. "How in the hell did you forget that you were blocking my major air?"

"I just did, ok? Geez, what a way to treat your hyung.." Kyungsoo huffed.

"Anyway. Back to the topic at hand here. I asked you before 'what about Chanyeol?' I mean, you're more close to him than you are to me. And he usually knows about these things first before me, so what gives?"

"Yeah, about that. Chanyeol really likes Jongin, too. He's really interested in him, and I feel like we'll be creating a rivalry between us and I don't want our friendship to be ruined... it'll break me too much to the core. Chanyeol's relationship to me is very important, and I don't want to lose it."

"But hyung, sleeping with Jongin is going to give you that result. If it was dangerous, that started with the attraction, then sleeping with him was a huge landslide, and completely dangerous! You'll be killed for sure!"

"I know! I screwed up! I had a couple shots before then, and I couldn't help it. He was... just there, and he understood me. I couldn't stop it... I didn't want it to stop.."

Kyungsoo drifted off as he remembered that night:

_ Flashback - _

_ The kisses never ended. The moving never stopped. It was too late to go back now, Kyungsoo knew. Once he had a taste of Kim Jongin, he was hooked. Once he had a feel of Kim Jongin's skin, his breath, his muscles, his lips, he floated. It was too late, and he was in trouble. _

_ The pants were off, shirts across the room, the movie silent. All that was heard throughout the room were pants, little moans, sucking, and kissing. Kyungsoo writhed in pleasure as Jongin took his nipples in hand and mouth, twisting and playing with them endless. Kisses were set in a path as the pair of lips were going down, a hand now massaging his thighs. Kyungsoo stiffened, but relaxed as Jongin whispered, "It's ok. I'm here now." _

_ Something wet grazed his thigh, causing him to gasp in surprise. Soon, a hand gripped his cock, sticking it straight up as the hand slowly went up and down. Kyungsoo bucked his hips up as he felt his hole being touched, kissed. _

_ "So... you're really sensitive, aren't you? You're ready to cum just from a few touches here and there. Wanna go further, and faster?" Jongin chuckled as he continued to fist the younger slowly. _

_ "Yes~ please! I beg of you~" Kyungsoo blushed as he let his thoughts slip out. He never talked this way before, and the words felt so foreign coming out of his own mouth. _

_ Jongin just smirked and took the initiative to bring his tongue out to touch Kyungsoo's tip. He watched in slight amusement as he saw the big muscle twitch, releasing little spurts of precum, while the male underneath him hitched his breaths. Not wanting to wait any longer, Jongin wrapped his mouth on the younger, and sucked him tightly. _

_ Kyungsoo half gasped and half moaned at the feeling. Never, in his life, has he ever felt this way before; even when he touched himself behind his closed bedroom door and imagined many different people, just to bring him over the edge - and that was embarrassing to even admit to himself. _

_ He was pulled out of his, now, irrelevant thoughts as he was reminded of the present situation he's in - one that definitely required his attention and participation. Jongin, at this point, was already applying lube onto his slender fingers, and stuck one into his hole. _

_ "AH!" Kyungsoo gasped loudly, shocked by the sudden intrusion of the object inside him. _

_ The feeling was weird, but as time passed, he grew accustomed to it, even as Jongin added more fingers, moving in and out at a slow but growing pace. Soon, Jongin had Kyungsoo in a moaning mess. Swiftly, he released his hard on from the confines of his jeans and boxers, and brought it to Kyungsoo's pink entrance, hesitating. _

_ "Are you sure you wanna do this?" Jongin asked, breathless. _

_ Kyungsoo nodded. _

_ With a nod of understanding, Jongin pushed inside. Kyungsoo yelped in pain, but told the older to keep going. When he was in all the way, Kyungsoo took deep breaths as he attempted to relax, at the urging of Jongin, and when he was certain that he was stretched enough, and well adjusted to his size, he allowed Jongin to move. _

_ Being cautious, Jongin pulled back slowly, then snapped forward. Kyungsoo half screamed and half moaned, moaning more in pleasure as Jongin continued to move inside of him, As he lifted Kyungsoo's leg up to his shoulder, Kyungsoo opened his eyes, jaw dropping. _

_ For a millisecond, Jongin was worried that he hurt Kyungsoo, but when he saw he mouthed "there," Jongin smirked, and continued to hit that one spot that caused Kyungsoo to moan more and louder. _

_ "Jongin..." Kyungsoo panted out. "Go h-harder.. F-faster-er." _

_ "Alright, baby~" Jongin practically purred. _

_ Snapping his hips forward, he brought his hand down to Kyungsoo's bright red cock, using the precum, and whatever was left of the lube on his hand, to pump the organ the same time as he slammed into him. Kyungsoo's head was thrown back in ultimate pleasure. _

_ Both jaws were slack, pants and moans heard, the room getting steamier by the second. Kyungsoo felt a coil in the pit of his stomach, his cock twitching with each movement from Jongin's big hand as he continued to pump him. Jongin knew Kyungsoo was close, since he was as well. _

_ "I'm cumming, Kyungsoo. Cum with me, ok?" Jongin panted out as best as he could. _

_ Kyungsoo said nothing as he just nodded his head, saliva dripping from the side of his mouth. Jongin pumped and pumped, then squeezed his cock one last time at the base; Kyungsoo came with a scream of Jongin's name on his lips. Because of the intense orgasm, Kyungsoo clenched his hole tightly, squeezing the cock inside of him, and Jongin threw his head back in agony as he came fiercely; white ropes of cum, now coating the cave and the excess dripping out. _

_ After they rode out their orgasms, Jongin pulled out of Kyungsoo harshly, causing the younger to groan in pleasure or pain, he didn't care, and his seed oozed out onto the fabric and light skin. _

_ Kyungsoo felt something wet touching his skin, so he opened his eyes, as he was rendered exhausted from the intense activity, to see that Jongin was already cleaned and clothed, and he was cleaning Kyungsoo up. _

_ Smiling a lazy smile, Kyungsoo allowed the older to do what he wanted. When Jongin managed to clean Kyungsoo of sweat and his seed and clothed him, he picked him up bridal style and carried him to his bedroom, and covered him with the covers. As soon as he made sure Kyungsoo was comfortable, he turned to leave when he felt his shirt being tugged lightly. Turning to Kyungsoo, who's eyes were barely open, he let his breath go, knowing what he wanted. _

_ He climbed next to the male and began to cuddle him. He brought his hand down to pet his head, partially wet still from sweat and the wet towel he used to cool him off. His hair was soft, and continued to pet him as he stroked his head gently, watching the younger get closer and a smile grace his small face. _

_ "Jongin?" _

_ Slightly startled, Jongin momentarily stopped his petting, only to begin again, only slower. "Yes, Kyungsoo-ah?" he whispered. _

_ "I just wanted to say thank you for tonight. It helped me." _

_ "No need to thank me, Soo. Don't worry about it, and just focus on going to sleep, ok?" _

_ "Okay. Will you be here when I wake up?" he asked groggily, sleep slowly taking him under. _

_ "Yes, I will," Jongin replied by his ear. _

_ "Promise?" _

_ "Promise. Now sleep." _

_ "Okay. .... Jongin?" _

_ A laughable sigh escaped his lips. "Yes, Soo?" _

_ "I love you," Kyungsoo whispered as sleep pulled him deep down, not allowing him to feel Jongin stiffen, and stop his petting. _

_ End flashback. _

"... So, you did the duty, and then what happened?" Sehun asked, as he drank his fifth bubble tea.

"Well, I woke up alone, and when I left the room, I saw..." Kyungsoo choked on his words slightly before continuing. "I saw Jongin on the couch... with Baekhyun on top of him, and they were sleeping...."

Sehun dropped his jaw in obvious shock. Slamming his drink onto the table, spilling some in the process, his face contorted to one that was of annoyance, or anger - Kyungsoo never knew the difference, but he figured it was more annoyance than anger because Oh Sehun never gets angry.

"That bastard! How dare he let go of a wonderful man like you!? You give him your heart and then misleads you by having sex with you, then sleeps with his ex, who shouldn't even be there in the damn first place! That's not right. You need to do something about that, Soo!" Sehun bellowed.

Kyungsoo slapped Sehun upside the head and glared at him.

"Oh Fucking Sehun! How dare you speak that way!? This is my problem, not yours! I can't do anything about it because he doesn't know that I know!"

Sehun gave a confused look towards Kyungsoo as he continued to cradle his "injury" and the older just sighed.

"He doesn't know that I was awake, or that I saw him with Baekhyun. As soon as I saw them sleeping, I went right back to his room, trying to go back to sleep - or at least pretend to. Half an hour later, he came in and laid next to me, hugging me from behind, and then I "woke up" at that exact moment. It's my own fault that I can't do anything about it, because it's not my place to do so. It's obvious that he doesn't love me, and he never will, no matter how much I want him to. He loves Baekhyun, and that's all to it. I already had my cry over him, so that's all, and I don't want to talk about this anymore, alright? I need to go tell Chanyeol, and create another disaster in my life that may break me. I'll talk to you later."

Kyungsoo grabbed his stuff, and left Sehun to continue staring in silence at his back as he left the house, closing the door behind him.

* * *

Chanyeol sat across from Kyungsoo, staring in shock while the latter just sat with his head down, and began messing with his shirt. Both men were incredibly quiet - a huge first since Kyungsoo met Chanyeol, but not for the first time for the older.

Kyungsoo had just finished telling Chanyeol everything that had to do with Kim Jongin - starting from the beginning, when he first started to fall for the older man, as soon as he heard that "confession" of his. He knew how much Chanyeol had crushed on him, but he didn't know if it was a lot, or if it was a fling that he usually had.

"Chanyeol? Can you please say something? It kills me that you aren't saying anything, and you are showing no emotion. Please?" Kyungsoo began to beg. They had been sitting in silence for 20 minutes, and nothing had moved, it felt like, even the time.

Chanyeol let out a sigh.

"I WISH you would've told me from the beginning, and then I would have supported you! I would have backed off and let you do all these things with my support, my advice. Yes, I was crushing on Jongin, but it was only because of his looks, and I'm not THAT into him. I mean, I love his personality, don't think me shallow or something negative, but I could've helped you get him. I could've helped you through whatever. You are more important to me than any old fling, alright? Remember that the next time you fall in love with someone that I only like, alright?"

Kyungsoo's eyes began to tear, and he sniffled. He planned on anger, things being thrown at him in anger, shouts of his betrayal, anything but his best friend's forgiveness, his unselfish thoughts and love towards him.

"Chanyeollie... I-I never thought you'd.." he began.

"Oh, come on, Soo, really? This is me we're talking about. You think I'd be angry and upset that you fell in love with someone? You know me better than that! We've been best friends for years, and we're practically family, and you'd think I'd let a guy break us apart? Bullshit! The only thing I'm upset about is that you didn't tell me beforehand, but I'll get over it. Now, come on, give hyung a hug!"

Chanyeol smiled his creepy but bright smile as he held his arms out and gave the crying younger male a tight hug.

* * *

It had been a month since Kyungsoo last saw Jongin.

He was later told that it was time for Jongin to go serve his time, and that if he was good, then he could be released earlier than expected.

Life continued, and though Kyungsoo was quite over Jongin, he still loved and cared for him, but he will continue to feel for him, the attraction still there. He got used to Baekhyun, and even loved his company, even though he was still sad and jealous that Baekhyun will always be next to Jongin, and not him. Nothing could be left unsaid for Kyungsoo as he continued to search for the one for him. He's certain that Jongin won't be the only man he will fall for in his life, but he will continue on with the support of his best friends.

After all, a story is never over with one person.. right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, this was really hard to write because, as I said before, this is kind of based on real life.
> 
> More than half of it is fictional, and the rest of it is entirely real. The descriptions of each character are 100% real, but the smut is 100% fake. This smut never happened in real life - though I wish it did happen.
> 
> I never intended on writing a sequel but the original readers/commentors were all so adamant about it that I felt like I deserved to give it you.
> 
> I know this was really long - I couldn't find a good place to stop at the time of writing this - but I hope it was well worth the wait.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Follow me on twitter! @Taki14


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